Don't get me wrong, I love my family. But work is where I feel competent. At home with the kids it's just chaos and endless demands and I feel like I'm failing at everything. At least at work I know what I'm doing. Is it bad that some days I'm relieved when Monday comes? My wife says I should want to be home more and now I just feel guilty on top of everything else.
I get this completely. Work is where I know the rules and can execute. Home with the kids feels like I'm constantly making mistakes and never doing anything right. Doesn't mean you love your family less, it just means you need to find ways to feel competent at home too. That's been my journey anyway.
Man, this hits different. I used to think feeling that way meant I was a bad dad, but I've realized it's just about where you feel like you have control and can see results. At work you finish a project and it's done. With kids everything feels unfinished and chaotic. You're not alone in this.
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The key for me was realizing that competence at home looks totally different. You're not managing projects, you're managing chaos and emotions and development. Once I reframed what success looks like with my kids, it got better. Still prefer work some days, but I don't feel guilty about it anymore.