Back from paternity leave and it's weirdly harder than I expected

6d ago·1 min read

Got back to the office after 3 months of parental leave and man I'm struggling. Not with the work itself but with the mental shift. I was in dad mode 24/7 and now I'm back in meetings and emails and it all feels kind of hollow. Miss my kid constantly. Wife says I'm more withdrawn now. Anyone else feel this way coming back? Does it get better or do you just accept this is the new normal?

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Comments(6)

TTyler M.New Dad6d ago

Three months of being fully present with your kid and then suddenly you're back to emails and meetings, yeah that's a lot harder than just jumping back into the work itself.

AAdam K.Regular6d ago

The dad mode to work mode switch is brutal. I'm still figuring out how to not feel like I'm missing everything while sitting at my desk.

RRyan M.New Dad6d ago

That mental whiplash is real. I had the same thing coming back from leave with two kids, and honestly it took me a solid month to stop feeling guilty about not being home.

CChrisRegular5d ago

That's actually really common. Three months at home is amazing but it also resets your baseline. Going back to the work rhythm hits harder because you've been in a different mode. Give yourself a few weeks to readjust.

BBrett M.New Dad5d ago

I bet the hardest part is missing them during the day when you've been with them constantly. That's the real struggle, not the job itself. How old is your little one?

RRick M.Regular5d ago

The mental switch is the hardest part. You've been fully present with your kid and then suddenly you're supposed to flip back to work mode like nothing happened. It's okay if that feels weird. It means you were fully there with your child.