Can we talk about the financial reality of staying vs going back?

Jan 201 min read

My wife wants to stay home. We have a 2yo and she's been WFH but wants to fully step back. Sounds amazing - less childcare costs, less stress, one person managing the household.

But here's the math: her salary is $78k. Daycare would be $15-18k/year (less than her salary but our high-deductible health plan requires two incomes for good rates). Her student loans are $200k.

Everyone says "oh just live on one income" but we'd be okay, not thriving. Am I being too practical? How do other couples navigate this when the numbers don't work out perfectly?

5 comments98 views

Comments(5)

DDerekRegularJan 20

One thing people don't talk about enough is how hard it is on the person staying home. Not just the financial pressure stuff but like the identity shift. Make sure you're both on board with what that looks like.

JJasonNew DadJan 20

We looked at this for a solid three months. Here's what helped: we calculated what she actually earned after tax and childcare, we looked at whether she could go back part time instead, and we thought about what we'd actually want in five years. The last one matters.

RRafaelNew DadJan 21

This is such a personal calculation but the numbers are real. We did the same thing with our 2yo and honestly the math only worked because childcare in our area is ridiculous expensive. Might be worth actually crunching the numbers.

DDerekRegularJan 22

The financial reality is brutal but don't let the money conversation overshadow what you both actually want. Money matters but so does your wife's career if she cares about it.

MMarcus L.RegularJan 22

Have you guys used one of those calculators where you input your actual salary versus childcare costs? I found that really helpful because the number was way smaller than I expected. That said every family is different.