Career advancement vs being present for my kids

1w ago1 min read

Got offered a promotion that's basically 20% travel and longer hours. More money would be good but my oldest plays soccer on Saturdays and I don't want to be that dad who misses all the games. My wife works part time and we've been doing okay financially. Is this a no brainer that I should turn down or am I being selfish by even considering it? The advancement opportunity won't come around again for years.

12 comments232 views

Comments(12)

SStevenRegular1w ago

I wrestled with this exact thing two years ago. Took the promotion thinking the money would make up for missing stuff, and honestly it didn't. I missed my son's first soccer game because of a meeting that could've been an email. The money's nice but you can't get those moments back. Talk to your new boss about what flexibility looks like before you commit.

CChristopher M.New Dad1w ago

This is the real question and honestly there's no perfect answer. I took a similar path and the travel killed me. Missed more stuff than I wanted to. But every guy's got different priorities and different family situations. What does your wife think about it? That conversation matters too.

MMarkRegular1w ago

Running on 4 hours of sleep here with a 3 month old and honestly the last thing I need is more hours at work. Your gut is probably telling you something. Listen to it.

RRonRegular1w ago

I wrestled with something similar last year. For me it came down to the fact that the extra money wouldn't matter if I missed watching them grow up. Those early years go fast man. I took a lateral move instead.

AAdam K.New Dad1w ago

Been there. I took a promotion with travel and it was rough missing stuff. Now I'm trying to find the balance by being super intentional with the time I do have. Maybe ask if they can flex on the travel percentage?

TTony M.Regular1w ago

Those soccer games go by in a blink. I'm running on fumes most days anyway, so adding 20% travel would probably have me missing the moments that matter most. Trust your gut on this one.

CCarl W.Regular1w ago

I turned down a similar gig a few years back and honestly haven't regretted it once. Those Saturday mornings with the kids add up fast, man. The money's nice but you can't get that time back.

RRichardRegular1w ago

This is the real one isn't it. Congrats on the promotion being offered but yeah 20% travel with young kids would have been brutal for me. Is there any chance to negotiate the travel piece down?

CCarlos M.New Dad1w ago

This is the one that keeps me up at night too. Three kids in three different activities and I'm already stretched thin. The travel part would kill me. How much more money are we talking? Sometimes it's worth doing the math on what you'd actually be gaining versus losing.

RRichardRegular1w ago

Could you negotiate the travel down? Maybe 10% instead of 20%? Or ask about doing it in blocks so you're gone for a week then home for three? The promotion matters but being there for bedtime matters too.

MMike C.Regular1w ago

Been thinking about this same thing. What I realized is there's usually more room to negotiate than you think. Could you do the promotion with less travel? Could you structure it differently? Might be worth having that conversation before you say yes or no. Sometimes the job as offered isn't the job you actually have to take.

BBrandonNew Dad1w ago

I'd really think hard about that 20% travel number. That's not just one trip a month, that's potentially being gone every other week depending on how it shakes out. With multiple kids on different schedules, that's a lot of stuff you're gonna miss. The money's nice but you can't get time back.