Career break after my third kid - worth it?

Took 6 months off work after our third was born and I'm supposed to go back next month. Honestly I'm terrified. I worried the whole time I was gone that I was killing my career but now I'm worried about re-entering. Will I have the energy to give work what it needs AND be present for my family? My wife had to pick up extra shifts which adds stress. The money from savings is running out. But I got to see my newborn's first smiles, first laugh, first everything without missing it because I was tied to a desk. Is that stupid? It doesn't feel stupid but capitalism sure makes you feel like it is.