Career stalled since becoming a dad and I'm bitter about it | DadHQ

Career stalled since becoming a dad and I'm bitter about it

Mar 241 min read

I used to travel for work constantly and was on the partner track at my firm. Now that I have two kids I can't do the nights away anymore and I feel like I'm being passed over for promotions. My coworkers without kids are getting the big projects. I love being a dad but it sucks feeling like I have to choose. Anyone found a way to balance ambition with actually being present for your family?

7 comments163 views

Comments(7)

CChris M.RegularMar 25

I get the bitterness. When you used to be on top of the world and now you're negotiating pickup schedules instead of closing deals, it feels like a step back. But it's not really. Just looks different from the outside.

BBrandonRegularMar 24

Real talk though, you might still get there. The timeline just changed. I know guys who stepped back when their kids were young and came back to it once they were in school. It's not a dead end, just a detour.

JJasonRegularMar 25

The partner track vs. being present for your kids is such a tough call. I had to step back from some travel too and it stung financially and ego-wise, but seeing my kids more often? That was worth it. Different life, not worse.

RRob H.RegularMar 25

I hear you. Two kids changed my whole trajectory at work but honestly I don't regret the choice. That said the financial hit and career reset is real. Have you considered looking for a new firm that's more family-friendly?

LLucasRegularMar 24

Have you talked to your firm about flexible partner roles or consulting work? Some places are starting to get that not everyone wants to travel constantly anymore. Worth a conversation with your boss at least.

NNate B.RegularMar 24

The bitterness is real and valid. You gave up momentum for something that doesn't come with promotions or bonuses. But you got something else instead, even if the job market doesn't value it.

NNate B.RegularMar 24

Man this hits hard. I was on partner track too before the kids came. It's tough watching younger guys without families zoom past you. The bitterness is real but try to remember what you're gaining too. That's easier said than done though I know.