Career stalled since becoming a dad and I'm not sure how to fix it

5d ago1 min read

Before kids I was crushing it, always first one in last one out, took on every big project. Now with three kids and my wife's job being more flexible than mine, I'm the one doing most of the pickup/dropoff stuff. My company is doing promotions soon and I know I'm not even on the radar because I'm not visible like I used to be. Do I need to accept this is my life now or should I look for somewhere more family friendly? This wasn't how I pictured things going.

8 comments226 views

Comments(8)

RRobertNew Dad3d ago

This is the real dad dilemma right? You can't be first in last one out anymore because there's actual humans at home that need you. The career stall is real but so is the stuff you're gaining. Hard to measure that on a resume though.

MMike R.New Dad4d ago

You're not stalled, your timeline just changed. I'm learning that advancement with kids looks like strategic moves instead of grinding 60 hour weeks. Talk to your manager about what's actually possible given your constraints. Some managers respect that more than you'd think.

CChris T.Regular3d ago

This is the trade-off nobody talks about. You can't be the first in last out guy AND be present for your kids. Something has to give. I realized I had to reset my own expectations about what career advancement looks like with a family. Slower but more sustainable.

CChris M.Regular3d ago

The hustle that worked before kids doesn't work anymore and that's actually okay. My career didn't stall, it just matured into something different. I'm more strategic, more focused on what actually matters. Turns out that's sometimes better for advancement anyway.

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CChris T.Regular3d ago

Real talk, some of the best people I work with are parents who figured out how to be effective without burning out. They're more valuable than the burnout guys. Don't assume slower growth means you're behind.

MMike R.New Dad4d ago

You have to get creative with your career time. Maybe you're not staying until 10pm anymore but you can be strategic about which projects you take and which meetings you attend. Quality over quantity of presence at work.

EEric M.Regular4d ago

Real talk - it might feel stalled but you're probably getting better at prioritization. The guys still crushing it 60 hours a week might burn out. You're building something different. Both have value, just different kinds.

BBradRegular3d ago

I'm in this exact spot. The old me would have been gunning for the promotion. Now I'm looking at flexible roles instead because my time at home matters more. Some people call that stalling. I call it getting my priorities straight.