Career stalled since becoming a dad

3w ago1 min read

Got passed over for promotion again and pretty sure it's because I don't stay late or travel anymore. I requested flexible hours 2 years ago when my oldest started school and now I'm basically invisible for advancement. The guys who got promoted are all doing 10-12 hour days. I make decent money so I'm not gonna starve but it's frustrating seeing people I mentored move ahead of me. My boss actually said I'm "not as committed" now. How do other dads handle this without losing their minds? Do I just accept that promotions aren't happening or do I need to make some tough choices?

6 comments170 views

Comments(6)

RRobert T.Regular3w ago

Man, that's tough. I went through something similar and honestly it felt like the company wasn't valuing what I was bringing to the table anymore. Have you talked to your manager straight up about what they'd need to see for the next opportunity?

TTony M.New Dad3w ago

Four kids here and I'll tell you, my best career moves happened when I stopped trying to prove something by staying late. Your flexibility is an asset, not a liability. Keep pushing back on that narrative.

SSam T.Regular3w ago

That's rough man. I work nights so I'm at least not dealing with the expectation to stay late, but I know a ton of guys dealing with exactly what you're describing. Is the company flexible at all or are they stuck in the old school mentality where face time equals commitment?

MMike R.Regular3w ago

Man this hits home. I feel like I'm constantly choosing between being the guy who gets ahead and being the guy who shows up to my kid's soccer games. Doesn't feel like there should have to be a choice.

EEdRegular3w ago

Career growth vs being present for your kids is the hardest calculation I've had to make as a dad. Some companies are getting better about this stuff but a lot of them still measure commitment the old way. Have you thought about switching companies to a place that actually values work-life balance?

KKeithNew Dad3w ago

This is the trade-off nobody talks about when you become a dad. I've definitely seen my career take a hit because I won't do the 60-hour weeks anymore. But I get to actually know my kids so I call that a win even if it costs me promotions.