Career stalled since kids - should I be worried?

Jun 111 min read

I'm 38 and haven't gotten a promotion in like 4 years. I used to be the guy who stayed late and took on extra projects but that stopped happening once I became a dad of three. Now I'm focused on leaving at a decent time to see the kids. I don't regret it but sometimes I wonder if I'm shooting myself in the foot long term. My wife's career is actually progressing faster now which is cool but part of me feels like I'm falling behind. Is this just the reality of trying to balance it all or am I making excuses?

6 comments214 views

Comments(6)

MMarco R.RegularJun 12

This is tough because I don't think the answer is just 'work harder like before.' You've got kids now and your priorities matter. But you also deserve to feel like you're growing professionally. Maybe it's time to look externally at what other companies pay and how they handle working parents. Sometimes you have to switch companies to move up.

MMarkRegularJun 11

The guilt around prioritizing family over climbing the ladder is real but don't let it become resentment either way. Sounds like you need honest feedback from your manager about whether you're actually stuck or whether you just feel stuck.

MMarkRegularJun 12

Four years without a promotion at 38 is worth paying attention to. You have to decide if it's because the company doesn't value you or because you've shifted priorities since having kids - both are valid but they need different solutions. Have you had a real conversation with your manager about what advancement looks like in your role?

AAntonioRegularJun 11

The promotion thing is tough but remember you're building something bigger than a career right now. A lot of companies are starting to respect that, so it might be worth a conversation with your boss about flexibility and growth.

GGarrett M.New DadJun 11

I get it man. Once you become the guy who leaves at 5pm to pick up kids, the narrative changes. But honestly you're probably doing way more important work at home than you realize.

BBrandonRegularJun 11

You don't have to go back to the 'stay late every night' version of yourself to keep advancing. That said, stalled growth can mess with your head. Talk to your boss about what a realistic path forward looks like. And if this company can't offer it, there are other companies that value you.