Got offered a promotion but it's a lot more travel. My boss basically said if I don't take it I'm not serious about moving up. But my kids are 5 and 8, I'm already gone 8-10 hours a day with commute. I don't want to be that dad who misses everything. So I turned it down. Now I'm stuck wondering if I made the right call or if I'm settling.
I get maybe 90 minutes of free time a day after my kid's in bed, and I'm not giving that up for anything. Can't imagine losing the actual time with your kids during the day for a promotion. Stand your ground.
Your boss is wrong about what being serious looks like. Being serious about your kids at 5 and 8 is just as important as climbing the ladder. There's usually another opportunity that doesn't require you to be gone all the time.
I turned down travel-heavy roles twice. Best decision I made. You can always climb the ladder differently. The kids grow up whether you're traveling for work or not, and you don't get those years back.
Man, that's a tough spot. I've been there with the travel question and it's real. You gotta decide what matters more - the title or being present for your kids. The money bump might not be worth missing bedtimes and weekend stuff. Have you tried negotiating with your boss? Maybe there's a middle ground like a quarterly travel schedule instead of constant trips.
This is the hardest part about being a working dad. They always use the promotion carrot knowing you've got family responsibilities. Document your wins, maybe start looking around quietly? There might be other companies that respect work-life balance better.
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That's a tough spot man. I've got three kids and I learned the hard way that some promotions aren't worth what they cost you at home. Those years go fast, and missing them doesn't come back.