Got the paperwork for paternity leave (2 weeks) but my boss keeps hinting that "things are busy" and that maybe I could "ease back in" instead of fully disconnecting. I have the PTO, it's technically my right, but I'm scared it'll hurt my chances at the promotion that's coming up in Q3. How many of you actually TOOK your full leave? Did it affect your career or am I being paranoid?
lol "ease back in" = work from home with a newborn screaming in the background. take your 2 weeks.
Take the leave. Your boss will survive two weeks - they always do. The "things are busy" thing is permanent, it'll never not be busy. Your kid won't be a newborn twice.
take the leave. i did the "ease back in" thing and it never actually eased - i was answering emails at 2am while trying to burp my son. your boss will survive 2 weeks. the newborn phase won't come back.
the sad part is that's become so normalized. my company literally said "most dads just check in" and i was like yeah and most dads also regret it. took my full 2 weeks, zero regrets.
Real talk though - have you checked if your company legally HAS to give you the full time without retaliation? Some places pull this pressure tactic knowing most dads won't push back. Worth knowing your actual rights.
I'm replying to the "ease back in" comment - that's code for "stay available." Next thing you know it's week 3 and you're in all the meetings. Draw a hard line on day 1.
lol the "things are busy" line. Things are always busy. That's the job. Your boss managed before you existed, they'll manage while you're gone. Don't let guilt eat your leave.
I did this exact thing with my first. "eased back in" after a week. Biggest regret of that year honestly. Mom needed actual help, not me checking Slack every 20 mins from the couch. Take all 2 weeks and actually disconnect.
I didn't take mine (was stupid, different era) and honestly that's my one big regret as a dad. those early weeks go SO FAST. you'll never get them back, and your boss will hire a temp or figure it out for 14 days.
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This is the exact guilt trap they want you in. You HAVE the PTO, you HAVE the right. Use it. Your kid won't remember "dad checked Slack during my first month" but you'll remember if you don't actually disconnect.