Feeling like I'm failing at everything

1w ago1 min read

Career is stalling because I'm not putting in the hours the other guys are. Kids are getting my tired leftover self after work. My wife is frustrated I'm not more help around the house. My boss asked me why I'm not interested in the promotion I used to want. The truth? I'm exhausted. I'm trying to be everything to everyone and I'm doing mediocre at all of it. When does it get easier? Or do you just accept you can't have it all?

8 comments142 views

Comments(8)

MMichaelRegular1w ago

I felt this in my soul. The hours thing is brutal because the guys without kids don't have that same pull to get home. Have you talked to your manager about flexible hours or results-based work instead of face time? Sometimes they'll work with you if you're getting the job done.

DDerek M.Regular1w ago

Talk to your manager about flexible hours or remote work if you haven't already. A lot of companies are figuring out that people with families need a different kind of schedule. You might be surprised.

KKyleRegular1w ago

You're not failing at everything. You're just realizing that you can't do everything at once. That's actually wisdom, not failure.

SScott M.Regular1w ago

I went through this exact thing last year. Had to make a hard choice about what I actually wanted my life to look like. The other guys putting in crazy hours? Half of them aren't happy. Worth thinking about what success actually means to you.

MMike R.Regular1w ago

Man, I'm navigating this with three kids in split custody so the schedule is different but the feeling is the same. What helped me was setting boundaries at work about when I log off. After 5:30 I'm done, no exceptions. It forces you to be efficient during the day and they either adapt or they don't, but at least you get your evening back.

JJosh M.Regular1w ago

This is the hardest part right here. You're not failing at either one, you're just stretched thin. I had to accept that some weeks work gets more and other weeks the kids need more. Can't be 100% at both simultaneously, so aim for 70-80% at each and forgive yourself for the math not adding up to 100.

MMichaelRegular1w ago

Take the paternity leave if you haven't already. See post 2 below. Seriously, that break could reset your perspective on all of this.

CChrisRegular1w ago

This is the real struggle right here. You're not failing, you're just pulled in two different directions and something has to give. The question is whether your career or your kids matter more to you. Only you can answer that.