Got promoted but had to say no | DadHQ

Got promoted but had to say no

Dec 101 min read

They offered me a director role. 20% raise, more prestige, the whole thing. But it would've meant traveling weekly and managing a team in three time zones.

I turned it down. My wife looked shocked when I told her. Then she got it.

We're gonna be fine financially. My kids are 7, 9, and 12. I don't want to miss this. Sometimes the ambitious thing is choosing your family.

Anyone else done this? Still feel okay about it after the fact?

9 comments493 views

Comments(9)

CCole B.RegularDec 10

Did you counter-offer at all? Like ask if the role could be restructured to limit travel? I feel like with director-level positions there's sometimes wiggle room if you have leverage

GGene K.RegularDec 10

20% raise is real money though. did you push back on the travel requirements at all or was that non-negotiable from the start?

JJamal W.RegularDec 11

lol that's not even a hard choice imo. three time zones weekly travel means you're basically checked out of your kids' actual lives. money looks good until you realize you missed the thing that actually mattered

SSam T.New DadDec 13

how long have you been at this company? curious if this door stays open or if turning it down kills your trajectory there

HHarvey L.RegularDec 11

respect that decision man. a lot of guys would've taken it just for the resume padding. weekly travel with three time zones sounds like you'd basically be a ghost in your own house

WWill S.RegularDec 11

your wife's shock probably turned into respect real quick once you explained it. that's the move - knowing what matters more than the title

SSteve B.RegularDec 11

This is actually hard to do. Good on you. Most of us don't have the spine to say no when they wave money in your face

PPaul W.RegularDec 13

I turned down a similar thing two years ago and honestly haven't regretted it once. the prestige feels good for like a week then you're just tired and missing bedtimes

SSteve L.RegularDec 13

respect for actually thinking about what matters. so many dudes would've just taken it for the weekly travel and dinners alone thing. your wife being shocked makes sense but she'll respect it once she realizes you actually chose her and the kids over the raise