Honest question about career ambitions after kids

Dec 81 min read

Did anyone else just... stop caring about climbing the ladder? I used to want partner track, VP role, all that. Now I'm 38 with a 4yo and a 6yo and the idea of taking on MORE responsibility at work sounds like literal hell. But then I feel like I'm wasting potential or being lazy? Like, is it okay to just be content with a solid mid-level role that pays well enough and lets me clock out? Or am I just depressed and dealing with it poorly? Looking for honest takes, not just "you can have it all" bs.

10 comments148 views

Comments(10)

SSteve C.RegularDec 8

Same exact thing happened to me around 36. Got offered a director role and just... said no. My wife was shocked. But then I realized I was already missing enough stuff with the kids - why trade actual time with them for a corner office?

DDan M.RegularDec 8

I'm 40 with a 5 and 7yo and same exact thing happened. Realized partner track meant less time with them during literally their most formative years. That math doesn't compute anymore. Can always go back if I want, but I can't get these years back.

SScott W.RegularDec 8

Curious if you've thought about lateral moves instead of up? I shifted to a role that paid similar but had way more flexibility. Not a step back but definitely a step sideways.

SSawyer N.RegularDec 8

Hard agree with the comment about lateral moves. I did contract work for a few years - less money but so much control over my schedule. Went back full-time once kids were older. Zero regrets.

MMike R.New DadDec 8

lol the "MORE responsibility" part got me. like bro I'm already responsible for keeping two tiny humans alive, I don't need my work org chart to also need me at 11pm

LLarry P.RegularDec 9

Not even about regret for me—I genuinely don't have the mental energy for "more responsibility" anymore. Parenting two young kids IS the big responsibility now. Work is just where the money comes from.

AAndy T.RegularDec 9

The ladder looks different when you're actually living with the people at the bottom of it, you know? Not saying ambition is bad but it's wild how the priorities just... shift. I went from checking work email at 11pm to turning my phone off at 8. Career trajectory took a hit but I sleep better.

AAaron W.RegularDec 9

Yeah the VP track sounds exhausting now. I used to think I'd regret it but honestly I'm way happier making decent money and being home by 6 most nights than I would be grinding for a title I don't even want anymore.

DDan T.RegularDec 9

This resonates so much. I used to measure success as promotions and now it's "did I make my daughter laugh today" and somehow that feels like more of an accomplishment? Wild shift.

HHank C.RegularDec 11

The partner track thing is real. I think it's less about not caring and more about finally understanding what actually matters. Money above a certain point just becomes... abstract.