Working full time, kids are in daycare, I feel like I'm missing everything. My oldest just learned to ride his bike without training wheels and I wasn't there. Wife says I'm being hard on myself but man it eats at me. I make decent money so we're not struggling financially but sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Do you ever get over this feeling or is it just part of the deal?
Three kids here and yeah, the guilt never fully goes away but I had to reframe it. I'm showing my kids that work and providing is part of life. Plus when I come home I actually WANT to be present instead of feeling resentful. The time I have is better because it's intentional.
I feel this every single day. Working full time while they're in daycare is rough. But honestly my kids seem happy and adjusted, so I'm trying to let go of the guilt that I'm somehow failing them.
This one hits different. My advice? Stop comparing your day to the Instagram dads who say they're 'always there.' Half of them aren't making rent. You're doing what you gotta do. Your kids will remember your effort, not the hours you clocked.
The guilt is real but here's what helped me: my kids would rather have a dad who's present when he IS there than a stressed-out guy trying to be everywhere. Quality over quantity actually matters.
This one hits different. What helped for me was setting actual boundaries at work so I could be more present during my limited time with them. The guilt doesn't disappear but it gets better.
Sign in to join the conversation.
Man I felt this in my soul. The daycare guilt is real but here's what helped me: they're learning, having fun, making friends. You're providing for them. That matters too. And the time you DO have with them? That's quality. Put the phone down during that time and it goes a long way.
It's rough in those early years for sure. But congrats on the milestone with your oldest. Those moments happen whether you're there or not. What matters is how you celebrate them when you find out.