Honest question. Daycare is $1900/month, we cut back where we can, but I'm constantly thinking about whether we're making enough. My wife makes $65k, I make $78k. We're in Denver so cost of living is getting crazy. Some months we're tight. Anyone else living paycheck-to-paycheck even with dual income? How do you manage the stress?
Denver is rough for cost of living, you're right about that. $143k combined with daycare at $1900 is actually... not terrible? Like it sucks but you're above the median household income. What's your actual monthly shortfall looking like? Are you going into debt or just stressed about it?
Honestly $143k in Denver with one kid? You're gonna be fine. Could be tighter, could be more comfortable, but fine. Are you actually struggling to pay bills or is this more of a mindset thing where you feel like you should be able to save more?
I'm constantly stressed about it. Wife makes $72k, I make $85k, and between daycare, mortgage, and insurance I feel like we're one emergency away from drowning. You're not alone. The mental load is sometimes worse than the actual financial pressure.
Denver COL is no joke and daycare there is brutal. $1900/month is pretty standard for that area though. Real question: are you actually short money month to month or is this more anxiety about it?
Honestly the fact that you're thinking about it means you're being responsible. A lot of dads just don't engage with the money stress at all and let it become their wife's problem. You're at least aware and trying to manage it.
This is the real dad conversation nobody talks about. I think most of us are stressed about money post-kids. It's not necessarily that you're actually in trouble, it's that you become hyperaware of risk. You're responsible for tiny humans now. That does something to your brain.
Have you run the actual numbers on what happens when daycare ends in like 5-6 years? Sometimes the stress is worst in these middle years. Might help to see the light at the end of the tunnel?
lol the constant thinking about money is the worst part honestly. We make similar to you and I'm constantly doing math in my head about whether we should move or if one of us should go part time. It's exhausting even when we're okay.
The stress about money hits different once you have kids. It's not just about YOU anymore. $143k sounds good until you realize daycare, insurance, food, rent/mortgage in Denver... yeah I get it. That's the mental load right there.
lol yeah daycare is the killer. We hit the point where we both had to admit the math doesn't make sense and my wife went part-time. Lost income but gained sanity. Not an option for everyone but might be worth running the numbers if you're constantly stressed.
At that income level in Denver you should be okay unless you have other debt. The stress is real though - I was in your situation and realized most of my money anxiety was coming from comparing myself to people making $200k+ who live nearby. Once I stopped that, the actual numbers didn't feel so scary.
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That's 143k combined which is decent for Denver but not huge with daycare eating almost 16% of gross. Have you guys looked at your actual budget to see where the stress is coming from? Sometimes it's more about financial anxiety than actual shortage.