How to actually be 'present' when you're exhausted?

Jan 41 min read

This might sound dumb but I'm genuinely asking. I leave work at 6, pick up kids from daycare by 6:15. We're home by 6:45. I'm absolutely wrecked - mentally drained, hungry, feeling a bit gross from the commute.

Then I'm supposed to be this engaged dad playing with them, doing bath time, reading stories. But I'm just... not there mentally. I'm thinking about emails, or deadlines, or just wanting to zone out.

I love my kids but I also suck at the transition. Anyone figured out a trick that works? Right now I just feel guilty about it most nights.

6 comments666 views

Comments(6)

JJakeNew DadJan 5

The fact that you're asking this question means you're already ahead of a lot of dads. Some guys just zone out and call it a day. You clearly want to do better.

BBenny R.RegularJan 6

Have you thought about delegating dinner prep or something so you can actually focus on them for 20 minutes? Right now you're probably juggling work stress, pickup, and dinner logistics all at once.

GGarrisonNew DadJan 6

You're pretty fried by the time you pick up the kids. Maybe the goal isn't to magically flip a switch and become engaged. Maybe it's just doing one small thing with them before you completely check out.

DDerek T.New DadJan 4

Real talk: maybe you can't be fully present when you're this exhausted. What if you aimed for 15 minutes of actual presence and accepted that the rest of the evening is just surviving?

PPaul M.RegularJan 6

It doesn't sound dumb at all. By 6:30 I'm completely drained and my kids can tell I'm not really there even if I'm sitting right next to them. This is a real problem a lot of us have.

LLuca P.RegularJan 7

Does your wife get that wind-down time when you get home or are you both just sprinting until bedtime? Because if you're both running on empty, that explains a lot.