Is it selfish to turn down a promotion for the sake of my family?

Jun 13·1 min read

Got offered a director role that would be a huge bump in pay and title. But it means traveling 40% of the month and basically living at the office. My oldest is 8, youngest is 5. I feel like I'd be missing everything. My wife says it's my choice but I know we could use the money. I keep going back and forth. Did any of you turn down opportunities to stay present? Do you regret it?

6 comments161 views

Comments(6)

CChris M.RegularJun 15

Not selfish at all. Honestly more dads need to make this choice. There's always another promotion, but there's only one chance to be present during these years. What does your gut tell you?

FFred V.RegularJun 13

Dude, 40% travel with three kids is brutal. You're already grinding hard as a working dad, and being present for them beats any title bump. Your family won't remember the promotion but they'll remember if you were there.

RRuben A.RegularJun 13

It's not selfish at all. I turned down some bigger opportunities early on so I could actually watch my son grow up and be at his races. The money would've been nice but I'd have missed everything.

KKyleRegularJun 13

40% travel is a lot when you've got a family depending on you. I've been traveling for work and the kids definitely notice when dad's gone that much. It adds stress to your partner too.

JJosh M.RegularJun 14

Have you asked if there's any flexibility on the travel requirement? Some companies will negotiate that stuff, especially if you're a strong candidate. Worth asking before you give a hard no.

KKyle M.RegularJun 14

This is the real career dilemma right here. I turned down a promotion two years ago for basically the same reason - 40% travel with two kids under eight felt impossible. No regrets. The money's nice but the time is irreplaceable.