Just declined a promotion and it feels weird

4d ago1 min read

Got offered a director role last week that would've meant travel every other week and longer hours. 2 years ago I would've jumped on it immediately. But my oldest is 6 now and actually knows when I'm gone, and my wife is already carrying a ton. I told them no thanks.

Don't get me wrong—part of me wonders if I'm making a mistake. The salary bump would've been nice. But then I think about missing soccer games and bedtime stories and... yeah, it was the right call. Just posting this because I feel like admitting you don't want the promotion is somehow still taboo? Anyone else been there?

6 comments167 views

Comments(6)

TTerrence M.Regular3d ago

The fact that your 6yo 'knows when you're there' is everything. Those are the years that matter most. You can chase that director role when they're older if you still want it

RRussell D.Regular3d ago

Did your boss give you any path forward that doesn't require constant travel? Sometimes they can modify roles if you ask, especially if you're valuable

CChris N.Regular2d ago

This is real growth. 2 years ago you measured success by title/money. Now you're measuring it by presence. Not everyone figures that out in time

EEd R.Regular1d ago

Mad respect for this decision. So many dads are grinding for the promotion and miss their kids' actual childhood. You're not missing anything by staying present

WWyatt C.Regular2d ago

This feels weird now but in 5 years when your kids are teenagers and actually want to hang with you (rare but it happens), you'll be glad you made this call

RRaj P.Regular1d ago

That's the shift that hits different when you have kids. Director role pays better but you miss the actual growing up part. You made the right call even though it probably felt weird to turn it down