Just got back from 3-day work trip and my kids didn't even care

Dec 141 min read

Oof. That one stings. I was gone Wed-Fri, and when I got home my 7yo was like "oh hey dad" without looking up from his Switch. Wife said he asked about me once on day 2. Meanwhile I'm tearing up at the airport because I missed him so much. I know it's irrational and I should be happy he's secure and well-adjusted, but damn. The guilt mixed with the rejection is a weird combo. Anyone else feel like they're building resentment toward their job for keeping them away, even though the trip was necessary?

10 comments62 views

Comments(10)

DDanny R.RegularDec 14

This hits different because they're that age where they're social enough to miss you but not old enough to really show it like they did at 4. That "oh hey dad" hits the soul though.

WWalter T.RegularDec 16

Replying to the crying thing - yeah that's rough but also... he did fine without you for 3 days? That's actually a WIN even though it doesn't feel like one. Means you've raised him to be secure. Sit with that feeling but don't let it poison your good parenting.

FFrank D.RegularDec 15

I used to get destroyed by this until I realized my kids do the same thing when my wife leaves for work trips. They ask about her once, move on, then when she gets home they're super clingy. It's normal development, not rejection.

LLarry K.RegularDec 15

that feeling is rough but real talk - at 7 they're not being cold, they're just developing their own thing. doesn't make it hurt less though.

WWalter T.RegularDec 14

real talk though - did your wife mention if he seemed anxious while you were gone? sometimes the "not caring" is actually kids shutting down a little when routine changes. doesn't mean he doesn't care, means he was managing

FFritz N.RegularDec 16

Try planning something with him BEFORE your next trip instead of hoping he gets excited when you're back. "When I get home Friday we're gonna do X" - gives him something to anticipate and you something real to come back to instead of just hoping for a reaction.

TTyler K.RegularDec 16

I had this exact moment last year and talked to my wife about it - she pointed out that him asking about me once was actually pretty normal for day 2. kids that age live in the moment. he was probably stressed those days and the Switch was his coping thing, not apathy. didn't totally fix the sting but helped reframe it

JJerome S.RegularDec 16

The Switch thing is brutal but real - he WAS probably thinking about you, just doesn't have the skills to show that yet at 7. His brain's still very much in the moment. Doesn't hurt less but it's not personal.

RRussell D.RegularDec 16

the switch snub is peak 7yo honestly. my son does the same thing but then later he'll randomly tell me details about what he did while i was gone. they care, they just show it weird at that age.

TTim K.RegularDec 14

wait until he's 16 and suddenly wants to vent about school drama. the indifference phase is temporary and brutal but it swings back. doesn't help right now i know