Just got back from paternity leave and feel like I missed everything

5d ago1 min read

Took 6 weeks off when our second was born and it was amazing. Now I'm back at work for a month and my son barely recognizes me again. I missed his first real smile, his first time holding his head up steady. Work has moved on fine without me which is cool but also depressing? Like nobody needs me there but my kids definitely need me at home. Trying to figure out how to not resent my job right now.

8 comments137 views

Comments(8)

CCarlos M.New Dad3d ago

6 weeks is barely scratching the surface with a newborn anyway. The real memories are going to be the next year of firsts, and you'll get those. Don't beat yourself up about missing the first month - most of it is just survival mode anyway.

MMarco R.New Dad3d ago

One month back and you're already feeling the loss. That's actually a sign you nailed those six weeks. Some dads don't feel that urgency. Your second kid is lucky to have a dad who wants to be that present.

RRichardRegular3d ago

I felt this so hard when I went back. You're not actually missing everything though, even though it feels that way. The time you did take is embedded in your relationship with your kid. But yeah, the return to work is rough.

MMarco R.New Dad3d ago

That first month back is brutal. You're watching your wife handle everything you just got to be present for, and you're stuck in meetings. The good news is it gets easier to be present when you're home - you stop checking work mode at the door eventually.

GGreg M.New Dad3d ago

The FOMO is real but here's what I learned - those moments are happening whether you're there watching or not. What matters is being fully present when you ARE there. Phone off, mental note that work is work time.

MMasonNew Dad5d ago

This is exactly why I fought hard to keep my schedule flexible. Being back full time when there's a newborn at home is one of the worst feelings. How's your wife holding up with you back at work?

PPhillip M.New Dad4d ago

This hits hard. I'm in the same spot right now. Those six weeks felt like I got to actually know my new baby and now I'm back in the routine and I'm missing everything I just learned. The disconnect is real.

-1

RRonRegular4d ago

The guilt after paternity leave is something nobody really talks about but it's brutal. You went from being completely present to being back in the grind. That's a massive shift. Have you thought about whether there's any way to get more flexibility?