Just got back from paternity leave and I'm depressed

3w ago1 min read

Took 6 weeks off when my second was born and honestly it was the best time of my life. Back at work now for 2 months and I hate it. I miss my family like crazy. Used to love my job but now I'm sitting in meetings thinking about how my youngest is already 8 weeks old and I'm missing it. Everyone at work acts like I should be happy to be back but I feel like I made a huge mistake. How do you guys deal with the guilt and FOMO when you go back? Should I look for something with better flexibility or am I being unrealistic with a 2yo and newborn in the house?

6 comments221 views

Comments(6)

PParkerNew Dad3w ago

That post-leave depression is real. I went through the same thing when I came back from my first kid. The adjustment from being fully present to staring at spreadsheets all day hits different. Have you thought about talking to someone about it? Mental health stuff matters.

RRobertRegular3w ago

Coming back from paternity leave hits different. You got a taste of what being the primary caregiver felt like and now you're back in the grind. That's not really depression, that's grief for what you're losing. It's real and it's okay to feel it.

BBradRegular3w ago

The adjustment back is rough. You've been fully present for six weeks and suddenly you're back to emails and meetings. Give yourself a few weeks to readjust. It does get easier but that initial shock is real.

RRick M.Regular3w ago

The first few weeks back are brutal. What helped me was setting some hard boundaries on work stuff so I could actually be present at home during evenings. It's not the same as paternity leave but it helped the depression lift a bit.

KKyleRegular3w ago

Man, I feel this in my bones. Those 6 weeks were like living in a different world. Now I'm back in meetings and I keep thinking about what my kids are doing without me. How are you managing the guilt?

MMike R.Regular3w ago

Those six weeks are magic and coming back to work feels like punishment after that. I felt the same way with my second. The trick is finding moments during the workday that remind you why you're working. I started taking lunch at home some days.