Just got back from paternity leave and it's hitting different

Took 3 months off when my twins were born and man, being back in the office feels weird. I'm happy to be working again but I'm missing so much. My 18 month old son said a new word yesterday and I was stuck in meetings. My coworkers don't get it. They're like "oh you must be happy to get a break" but it doesn't feel like a break, it feels like I'm missing the best parts. Anyone else struggle with this adjustment?