Just turned down a promotion

Nov 211 min read

Feels weird even saying it out loud. The opportunity came up last week and 6 months ago I would've jumped at it. But it's a director role that basically requires 50+ hour weeks and travel to our New York office twice a month.

My boys are 4 and 6. I coach my older son's soccer team on Thursdays. I'm the one who does school pickup most days. When I told my manager I wasn't interested, I expected to feel disappointed. Instead I felt... relieved?

Anyone else hit this point where career advancement just doesn't feel worth it anymore?

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Comments(5)

BByron S.Regular1d ago

Did your manager push back at all? I'm paranoid that turning down advancement gets you labeled as 'not ambitious' and then you get overlooked for good projects anyway. Curious how they reacted when you said no.

PPete S.Regular1d ago

100% nailed it. I turned down director at 38 and my wife literally cried tears of joy when I told her. The travel alone would've killed me - missing soccer games, school stuff, bedtime routines. Yeah the money would've been nice but my kids won't remember how much I made, they'll remember if I was there. Respect for recognizing what actually matters.

SSam F.New Dad1d ago

lol i'm the opposite - took a director role and honestly it's been fine. WFH 3 days helps. But real talk, the NY travel twice a month is rough. Have you looked at remote director positions in your field? Might get you the bump without the commute destroying your Thursday coaching gig.

DDale J.Regular1d ago

That relief you felt? That's your gut telling you something real. I took a similar role 8 years ago when my kids were 5 and 3. Told myself I'd 'make it work.' Spoiler alert: I didn't. Missed my daughter's first school play, my son's entire T-ball season. The promotion wasn't worth the regret tax. Good call.

BBrad H.Regular1d ago

This is the way. Hit this exact crossroads at 42. Had two kids in sports, one doing chess club, the whole thing. Director role on the table. Realized I could make senior IC moves instead - better pay than I expected, zero travel, kept doing pickup. Not every path has to go up the org chart. Your boys are 4 and 6 which is like... peak fun age before they're teenagers and don't want you around anyway. Enjoy it.