Just turned down a promotion to stay with my family

Dec 171 min read

Posted this in another thread but wanted to share here. Got offered a senior director role at my company - 25% raise, bigger team, etc. The catch? It would require 2-3 nights/week travel to client sites plus evenings spent on strategic stuff.

My boys are 6 and 4. I realized I've already missed so much with them while I was chasing growth and titles. Said no thanks.

Feels weird and a little scary tbh, but also the most right decision I've made in years. For the first time in a while, I'm not stressed about 'what's next' in my career. Just wanted to put this out there for anyone in a similar position - the promotion isn't everything.

11 comments284 views

Comments(11)

PPete S.RegularDec 17

lol i did the opposite and took a promotion with travel. regret it every single week. you made the right call. your kids won't remember the bigger title, they'll remember if you showed up.

AAaron W.RegularDec 18

I turned down a bigger paycheck a few years ago for basically the same reason—less travel. Best decision I made. You can always move up later when the kids are older and less needy. Right now they need you present.

RRob P.RegularDec 18

The hardest part is explaining this to people who don't get it. "You turned down a PROMOTION?" Yeah, and I'd do it again. Quality of life > title inflation.

TTom E.RegularDec 20

This actually gives me hope lol. Everyone always says you have to take every opportunity or you'll regret it. But it sounds like you won't regret this one.

TTerrence J.RegularDec 18

That's huge. The 25% raise sounds great on paper but those 2-3 nights/week adds up to like 10+ hours away from bedtime routines, sick days, weekend stuff. Did you actually do the math on what you'd miss vs the money?

CCharlie A.New DadDec 18

This is the one. At 4, 6, and 9 my kids needed me HOME more than they needed me to have a corner office. You can always get promoted later when they're older and don't need as much.

BBrian L.RegularDec 20

Real talk though - did you negotiate anything else instead? Like remote days, flexible hours, different role with less travel?

MMike F.RegularDec 18

How'd your company react? I'm worried if I turn down something like this they'll see me as not ambitious and tank my career growth.

TTim K.RegularDec 18

This is the one. Senior director money is nice but 2-3 nights a week is like... 100+ nights a year away from your family. Your kids won't remember the extra money, they'll remember you weren't there. Solid call.

MMitch R.RegularDec 20

Did your company push back or were they ok with it? Curious if they'd consider a similar role that didn't require the travel.

DDustin P.New DadDec 20

Mad respect for having the clarity to see past the raise. Most guys would've taken it and just felt guilty for years. Have you thought about what "enough" money looks like for your family? That might help when the next opportunity comes around.