My boss expects me to work 50+ hour weeks. I have a 3 and 5 year old. | DadHQ

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My boss expects me to work 50+ hour weeks. I have a 3 and 5 year old.

3w ago·1 min read

I'm a software engineer and the expectations at my company are just unreasonable. I'm the only one bringing in a paycheck right now and I feel trapped. If I push back on hours they'll just find someone else. My kids go to bed before I get home most nights and I miss them. I know a lot of guys deal with this but it doesn't make it suck less. Thinking about looking for something with better hours but the pay cut would be tough. Any suggestions?

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Comments(3)

AAlexRegular3w ago

This is tough because I get it, you want to be valuable at work. But being a dad to a 3 and 5 year old matters way more. Can you talk to your manager about what reasonable looks like? Or honestly sometimes the answer is finding a company that respects boundaries. That culture of 50+ hour weeks is poison.

KKevinRegular3w ago

50+ hours with a 3 and 5 year old is insane. I did that for a while and it was just grinding everyone down. Is there any possibility of switching roles with your wife or finding a job with better balance? Your company will survive without you working those hours and your kids need you more than software engineer culture needs loyalty.

JJamesRegular3w ago

Tech companies are brutal about this stuff. Are you the only dad doing the parenting thing there or are other people pushing back? Sometimes culture changes when someone's brave enough to set boundaries. Your kids are only little once. That job will still be there if you work 40 instead of 50.