Working from home with a 4 year old running around has been a disaster. My wife thinks because I'm home I should be watching him but I have back to back meetings. Yesterday I had to mute myself because he was screaming about juice. How does anyone actually make this work? Thinking about going back to the office just for the sanity.
This is the remote work trap right here. Your wife means well but work is work, even if your office is the den. Set specific hours where you're unavailable for parenting and stick to them. Boundaries help everyone.
This is real talk - you're not actually home if you're working. Your brain is split two ways and that's exhausting for everyone. I'd suggest talking to your wife about scheduling specific "dad time" blocks where you're fully off work, even if it's just 30 mins at lunch or right after.
The 4 year old chaos is no joke. I had this same issue before I set up a little "work corner" where the kids know dad is busy. Noise-canceling headphones are a lifesaver too.
Man, I feel this so hard. My wife had the same expectation when I started remote work. The key thing I learned is you gotta set actual boundaries and communicate them clearly. Like, during core hours I'm working, full stop. Door closed, headphones on. Yes, your kid will bang on the door sometimes, but it gets better once they understand the routine.
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Four year olds and Zoom calls don't mix. Can you negotiate some flexibility with your job, like starting earlier before he's awake? That's been my saving grace - early mornings are mine, then I'm more present after work.