Should dads prioritize career advancement or kids?

Had a conversation with my wife about whether I should pursue the director-level role that's opening up (would require more hours, likely more travel) or stay where I am and keep things stable for the family. She said "you have to decide what matters more to you." Which feels unfair because the answer is I want both and I can't have both. How are other guys navigating this? Is there a "right" answer or is it just different for everyone?