Should dads prioritize career advancement or kids?

Dec 29·1 min read

Had a conversation with my wife about whether I should pursue the director-level role that's opening up (would require more hours, likely more travel) or stay where I am and keep things stable for the family. She said "you have to decide what matters more to you." Which feels unfair because the answer is I want both and I can't have both. How are other guys navigating this? Is there a "right" answer or is it just different for everyone?

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Comments(5)

DDanny R.RegularDec 30

What does your wife actually want you to do? Because I made this decision without really hearing my wife and it created way more tension than the career thing ever could have.

MMarcusNew DadDec 30

The real question is whether this role would let you be more present or less. More money doesn't mean anything if you're working 70 hour weeks and missing everything.

MMike P.New DadDec 30

It's not actually one or the other though. You can pursue the role AND be present. Different dads define those things differently. What matters is what works for your family specifically.

RRichardNew DadDec 31

This is the question, isn't it. I went for the director role when my oldest was 5 and honestly it gave me more flexibility and money to actually BE there, but the first two years were brutal with the stress load.

PPhil K.RegularDec 31

I turned down a promotion to stay at my level because I didn't want to travel. No regrets. But my friend took his director role and now makes 40k more and uses that money for childcare and family vacations. Neither is wrong.