Taking a promotion that requires more travel and I feel guilty

2w ago1 min read

Got offered a senior role that would be a big step up in pay and title. Problem is it needs 3-4 nights a week on the road at least. My oldest has soccer, my youngest has school events, and my wife is already stretched thin with her job. The extra money would help but my kids barely know me as it is. Taking it anyway because my family needs the financial security but man I feel like a terrible dad right now.

9 comments118 views

Comments(9)

TTobias K.Regular2w ago

The guilt is real but don't underestimate the impact of financial stability on your family. Being stressed about money affects your kids too. Maybe there's a middle ground where you negotiate some of the travel or build in specific weeks where you're home.

LLeo R.Regular2w ago

Congrats on the offer, that's huge. The guilt is real but remember you're doing this for them too. I travel less but I know the extra income and career win matters. Just make sure you've got a solid plan for when you're gone.

JJason K.Regular2w ago

Family dinner is sacred to me with my four kids, so I get why this stings. Before you say yes, figure out what nights you'd actually be gone and if there's flexibility. Sometimes the title and pay are worth adjusting family traditions a bit.

MMasonNew Dad2w ago

That's a tough one, man. I'd say sit down with your oldest and be honest about what this means. Leo here logs 4 nights a week at soccer practice anyway, so sometimes the schedule works out. But only you know if this feels right for your family.

VVincentRegular2w ago

Senior role sounds great on paper until you're missing your kid's soccer games and school plays. I watched another dad take a promotion like that and he ended up negotiating it to three nights a month after six months. Ask now what flexibility looks like.

BBradRegular2w ago

I wrestled with this exact decision last year. The money is real and the career boost matters, but so does being at pickup. What does your wife think about the travel schedule?

RRyanRegular2w ago

As someone 8 months into parenting, even I know this is hard. But at 3-4 nights a month is that sustainable? Could you propose a hybrid arrangement when you interview?

DDavidNew Dad2w ago

I've been where you are and the guilt is normal but misplaced. The real question is can you afford to turn it down? If the family benefits financially and you can set boundaries on the travel, it might work. Just don't let it become 4-5 nights without pushing back.

NNate B.Regular2w ago

The guilt is telling you something real. Your gut knows what matters. Big pay and title don't replace bedtime stories. That said if you can negotiate the travel down to 2 nights instead of 3-4 it changes everything.