The 4pm wall every single day

Dec 81 min read

Does anyone else get absolutely destroyed at 4pm? Like that's when work stuff hits, kids need to be picked up, dinner has to happen, bedtime routine starts, and I just completely fall apart. I'm snappy with my wife, I'm impatient with the kids, I'm simultaneously trying to wrap up work emails. By 8pm I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I've tried everything - better sleep, exercise, eating regularly. Nothing touches it. It's like there's just too much happening in a 4-hour window and my brain checks out. Anyone cracked the code on this or is it just... the deal we made?

12 comments21 views

Comments(12)

NNate C.New DadDec 8

That's exactly why I switched to working from home 2 days a week. Being able to handle pickup, start dinner, then jump back in for 30 mins if needed beats the 4pm panic where you're simultaneously wrapping up work and kids need you. Game changer.

PPatrick W.RegularDec 8

The snapping part—that hit. I realized I wasn't actually busy at 4pm, I was just anxious about everything needing to happen at once. Started doing a 10 min decompression thing at 3:50 before pickup. Sounds kinda woo but it actually breaks the spiral.

DDante J.New DadDec 8

4pm is when your glucose tanks and your kids' stimulation drops off a cliff simultaneously. it's biology. eat a decent snack at 3:30, even just nuts or something. takes the edge off the snap

KKurt D.RegularDec 9

the snapping at 4pm is a sign your whole day is misaligned. what if pickup happened at 3:30 instead? or work ended at 3:30? or kids went to aftercare until 5? something has to shift because right now you're hitting maximum load at max capacity

TTerry O.RegularDec 9

Same exact wall here. What helped was I stopped trying to be "on" for work AND home at 4pm. Gave myself permission to be half-assed at one of them. Usually chose work since kids need me more present. Boss doesn't care if my 4-5pm is slow.

RRussell D.RegularDec 9

this is when i hand the kids off to my partner if i'm having a day. sometimes snapping happens anyway so i've learned to say "dad's getting grumpy, i'm gonna take 10 mins" and step outside. models good behavior too

CChris R.RegularDec 9

lol this hit hard. my wife finally called me out on it last month. "you turn into a different person at 4pm." started going to the gym at lunch instead of staying chained to my desk, comes home with way more patience. endorphins are real

KKevin P.RegularDec 10

the snapping happens because you haven't had a break since 8am or earlier. 4pm is just when the dam breaks. could you block 3-3:30 as "no meetings" and actually sit in your car or walk around? reset before the pickup chaos

MMack G.New DadDec 10

have you tried lowering expectations just from 4-6pm? like frozen pizza instead of cooking, screen time allowed, loose bedtime. you don't have to be "on" the same way when you're just in survival mode

LLou P.RegularDec 10

you're describing what happens when all your mental load hits at the same time. work stress + pickup logistics + feeding humans + bedtime is too much for one person. what if you grabbed food on the way home instead of cooking? one less thing at 4pm

MMarcus J.RegularDec 11

4pm is peak chaos, yeah. I started shifting my work calls earlier in the day specifically to avoid that window now. Told my team "I'm in meetings 3-4pm minimum, plan around it." Helps that I block my calendar but honestly some days it still hits different.

SScott W.RegularDec 11

Dude I feel this so hard. My 4pm solution was honestly just accepting I'm not gonna get "good work" done after 3:30 and using that last hour for admin stuff, emails, planning tomorrow. Snapping at the kids because I'm task-switching is not the move.