The guilt is the worst part

Dec 13·1 min read

Not even the exhaustion or the money stuff, it's the guilt. I work in tech, decent job, decent pay, but I'm constantly feeling like I'm NOT ENOUGH. Not enough at work (leaving at 5pm to pick up kids), not enough at home (checking email during dinner), not enough as a husband (my wife does more), not enough as a friend (haven't seen the guys in months). It's like this background hum of failure no matter what I'm doing. Anyone else dealing with this? How do you quiet it?

5 comments207 views

Comments(5)

BBob G.RegularDec 14

I had a manager tell me once that dads who leave on time for pickup are actually better employees because they don't have the mental load of wondering if their kids are okay. You're not failing anyone by having boundaries

EEd R.RegularDec 14

This hits different because it's not even about logic - you know you're doing fine but your brain won't let you believe it. The guilt is the actual problem, not your performance at work or home

AAdam J.RegularDec 15

The exhaustion thing is real but you're right - the guilt is what actually crushes you. And it's like no matter what you do there's always this voice saying "you should be doing more." Where does that even come from?

CChad R.RegularDec 14

You know what helped me? Realized that my kids don't need a dad who kills himself at work to prove something. They need a dad who shows up at pickup and has energy to play with them. Reframed the whole thing

TThomas H.RegularDec 15

Leaving at 5pm to pick up your kids is literally the RIGHT thing to do. Anyone at work that doesn't get that isn't worth the mental real estate you're giving them. You're not NOT ENOUGH, you're exactly what you should be