The guilt of leaving work early never goes away

Nov 271 min read

I'm fortunate that my company lets me leave at 4 to pick up my kids from school. But every single day I get these vibes when I shut down my laptop early:

Jennifer from marketing still has her Slack status as Active
My boss sent an email at 3:55pm
There's still 3 hours of "normal" workday left

Rationally I know I'm not abandoning anything. Emotionally? Still feels weird being the guy who leaves when kids need pickup. Anyone else dealing with this or am I just neurotic?

12 comments231 views

Comments(12)

CCole B.Regularjust now

This hits different. I do the same thing and that 3:55pm email from the boss feels like a personal attack every time.

CCarl W.Regularjust now

Have you actually talked to your boss about this or are you just assuming they care? Might be in your head more than it's real.

TTom E.Regular9h ago

The guilt is wild but remember - you're doing the job you're paid for. If your boss is sending emails at 3:55pm that's on them. You're not responsible for fixing their time management.

RRich B.Regular20h ago

Real talk though, I've found that people respect the boundary more if you're actually getting your work done before you leave. Jennifer at marketing doesn't care that you left at 4, she cares that your projects are on track.

JJosh E.Regularjust now

The fact that your company actually lets you leave at 4 is the dream though. A lot of us are stuck pretending to work from 5-6 after kids are in bed just to avoid the 'not team player' vibe.

EEd R.Regularjust now

Honestly probably mostly in my head but that doesn't make the feeling go away, you know?

LLuca P.Regularjust now

This is real and honestly pretty toxic. The only way it changes is if you actively reframe it - you're not leaving early, you're ON TIME for your actual job (parenting). The office job is secondary to your life. Easier said than done but worth working through.

FFritz N.Regular15h ago

Your boss sending an email at 3:55pm is intentional btw. Don't answer it. If it was truly urgent she would've sent it earlier. This is a test of whether you actually have boundaries.

BBob M.Regular7h ago

Jennifer from marketing's Slack status being green at 5:30pm doesn't mean she's more productive than you. It means she's performative and probably burnt out. You're actually using your time efficiently. Stop feeling guilty about boundaries.

DDrew H.Regular5h ago

The fact that your company actually LETS you leave at 4 puts you ahead of like 95% of working dads. Use that privilege. Your kids are only young once. Jennifer can handle her own emails.

FFrank D.Regularjust now

That 3:55pm email from your boss is a power move lol. She KNOWS you're leaving at 4. Don't fall for it. You're leaving at 4, your job is fine, your kids actually need you there.

JJerome S.Regular18h ago

Your kids will remember you picking them up at 4. They won't remember Jennifer's emails.