Took paternity leave and it changed everything

4d ago1 min read

Just went back to work after 6 weeks home with my newborn and honestly I feel like I'm missing out already. Those weeks were incredible even though I was exhausted. Now I'm back to 50+ hours a week and my son is changing so fast. I feel guilty all the time. My wife stayed home for 4 months and she keeps saying I should've taken more time, and I'm starting to think she's right. The money and career momentum felt important at the time but now I'm second guessing everything. Anyone else struggle with this?

10 comments204 views

Comments(10)

RRyanRegular2d ago

I felt every word of this. Six weeks feels like six minutes when you're living it. The hardest part for me was that first week back, just sitting at my desk thinking about what I was missing.

DDerek P.New Dad2d ago

The first week back is rough but it does get easier. I'm not gonna lie though, that feeling of missing stuff never totally goes away. But you're building something important for your family by being at work too.

DDerek P.New Dad2d ago

I feel this so hard. Those 6 weeks were the most real parenting I've done in a year and then suddenly you're back in meetings and your kid's already changed. The guilt is real.

CChris R.New Dad4d ago

Man, I felt this in my soul. Those 6 weeks were the most meaningful time I've had since becoming a dad. Going back to work hit different after that. How are you adjusting?

PPedroRegular4d ago

This is exactly why I pushed for the work from home arrangement. Even getting home early enough to do bedtime makes a difference. Have you thought about negotiating schedule flexibility?

JJosh M.New Dad2d ago

Those first weeks back are brutal man. You're not missing out though, you're building the foundation for the long game. How old is your kid now?

PPedroRegular3d ago

I get it. Even with four kids I remember feeling that way after paternity leave. The thing is you're still present, you're still involved. It's about quality not just quantity at this point.

MMarcusNew Dad3d ago

Working nights as a nurse and doing the dad thing full time, I get the FOMO. But I also realized the time I AM home has to count more. Quality over quantity is real. Still sucks though.

BBrandonRegular3d ago

I won't sugarcoat it, going back after paternity leave was hard. But you find your rhythm. The time you had matters way more than you think it does right now.

SSteveNew Dad3d ago

This is the real talk nobody tells you about. Everyone asks how the baby is but they don't ask how hard it is to hand them off and go back. You're not alone in this feeling.