Had a conference in Denver last month, 3 days. No big deal, I've done tons of business travel. But this time I have a 4yo who was devastated when I left. My wife handled it fine, but I spent the whole first day feeling sick about it. Skipped the evening networking, just sat in my hotel room. When did I become this person? Used to love traveling for work. Now I just want to get home.
The fact that it hit different this time is actually good awareness. Most guys just keep doing the travel without letting it sink in that the kids got older and needier. You actually noticed the shift.
I started FaceTiming my 5yo at bedtime when I travel and it helps SO much. Just 5 mins of him showing me his room or whatever. Not a cure-all but at least he feels like he's talking to me.
Did your wife do anything specific to help with the separation or was she just... managing it? Curious if there's stuff you could set up for next trip to make it easier on your kid.
The whole conference was probably 30% work and 70% you thinking about your kid the entire time anyway right? That's the trade-off nobody mentions
Have you thought about whether you can push back on some travel now, or is this job requirement solid? Asking because at 4 years old there's only so many years before they stop caring when you leave, and that window closes fast
The 4yo thing hits different. They're old enough to understand you're leaving but too young to really understand why or that you're coming back. That guilt is real and it doesn't go away.
This is why I stopped doing the 3-day conference circuit. Not worth the fallout at home. Switched to once a quarter max. Is your company flexible at all or do they expect you to keep accepting these?
That 4yo hit is rough man. They don't understand the business part, they just know dad left. Did you at least FaceTime in the evenings?
Sign in to join the conversation.
I had this exact moment last year and it changed how I think about travel. Three days doesn't sound like much until you have a tiny human asking 'when is daddy coming home' every morning. It's the accumulation that gets them.
My wife always says 'it's fine' when I travel too but I've realized that just means SHE'S handling it, not that the kids are unaffected. Those are two different things.