Why do I feel guilty for wanting to work?

Dec 161 min read

There's this weird cultural thing where dads are supposed to feel bad if they prioritize their job at all. Like I'm supposed to be thanking my lucky stars for every moment with my kids.

I LIKE my job. I'm good at it. I like the problem-solving, the team, the paycheck, having something that's just for me. I also love my kids and enjoy being with them.

Why can't it just be both? Why the constant guilt if I'm excited about a work project or frustrated when I can't stay late for something fun at work because of pickup times?

Dads who actually like your jobs - do you just accept the guilt or have you figured out how to not feel like an asshole for it?

4 comments267 views

Comments(4)

PPaul T.RegularDec 16

This is the real talk. People act like you're supposed to resent your job if you're a good dad. That's not how humans work. You can love your kids AND have ambition. Those aren't mutually exclusive.

VVic G.RegularDec 17

The cultural thing is so weird. Nobody questions moms for prioritizing career sometimes. There's this weird assumption that dads should be apologizing for existing in a professional capacity.

SSteve C.RegularDec 16

You're gonna have kids who actually respect the work you do more if you're not miserable or resentful about it. There's nothing noble about sacrificing everything.

GGrant C.RegularDec 19

Exactly. And honestly being good at your job and having that satisfaction probably makes you a better parent anyway. You're not on edge when you're home because you feel accomplished elsewhere.