5 years sober and sometimes I miss the person I was when I was drinking

Mar 31 min read

Got sober when my oldest was born. Best decision I ever made but it's complicated. I miss being the fun dad who didn't overthink everything. I miss the confidence I had when I was drinking even though it was fake. Now I'm hyper aware of everything and that's good but also exhausting. What I don't miss is waking up not remembering conversations with my kids or missing important moments. Recovery communities saved my life but nothing prepares you for grieving your old self even when your new self is objectively better. Anyone else deal with this?

3 comments112 views

Comments(3)

DDerek T.New DadMar 5

5 years is huge man, seriously. It's okay to have those complicated feelings. You're giving your kids something that matters way more than anything you had to give up. That takes real strength.

JJason T.RegularMar 3

Keep going. The version of you your kids know now is the one they'll remember and be proud of. Miss the old you if you need to but don't forget why you made the change.

VVincentRegularMar 3

That's real and I respect you for saying it out loud. You're a different person now and that's the whole point. The version of you that shows up for your kids every day sober is way more important than who you were.