Became a dad and don't recognize myself anymore

2w ago1 min read

I used to be the spontaneous guy. Weekends were for catching shows, going out with friends until 2am, road trips wherever. Now I'm the guy worried about pediatrician appointments and whether we have enough formula. Got excited about a new vacuum last week. My friends try to make plans and I'm planning around nap schedules. I genuinely love my kids more than anything but sometimes I catch myself thinking about who I was and it's like looking at a different person. Do you get yourself back eventually or is this just the new normal?

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Comments(6)

CChrisRegular2w ago

This hits hard. I was that guy too. Now I'm planning my nights around getting the kids to bed and thinking a 9pm bedtime is wild. The spontaneity is gone but honestly the weekends with my kids are way better than anything we used to do.

CChris M.Regular2w ago

Yeah the spontaneous guy has to die a little bit when you become a dad. But you'll find new things you're good at. Like getting two kids ready and out the door is basically a military operation now. That used to seem impossible to me.

TTerrence J.Regular2w ago

I totally get this. I used to be spontaneous too and now I'm planning bedtimes around homework. The weird thing is I actually like it most of the time. You're not losing yourself, just becoming a better version.

PPatrick W.Regular2w ago

That's the dad transformation right there. Your priorities just shift overnight and suddenly you're that guy checking weather reports. But honestly watching your kid grow makes up for the 2am nights out.

TTom M.Regular2w ago

The trade off is real. You give up some freedom but you get this crazy deep purpose that the old spontaneous you never had. Took me about a year to stop resenting it and just lean into being a different person.

JJustinRegular2w ago

The identity shift is real and kind of jarring. You're not the same person anymore and that takes some getting used to. But here's the thing - you're becoming someone who matters way more to tiny humans than you ever mattered to a crowd at a venue. Different is hard but it's actually better.