Became a Dad and Lost My Freedom (But Found Something)

11h ago1 min read

This is probably obvious but man, nothing prepares you for how much your life gets put on hold. Can't just leave whenever. Can't take a weekend trip on a whim. Can't spend money on stupid stuff. Had so much freedom before and some days I really miss it, especially when the kids are being difficult. But I've noticed I'm happier in a way that's hard to explain. Less anxious overall. Probably because I stopped caring about so much meaningless stuff. Used to stress about my car and my apartment and impressing people. Now I stress about making sure my kids know I love them. Different kind of pressure but feels more real.

7 comments175 views

Comments(7)

EEricNew Dad11h ago

Yeah the freedom thing is real, but Friday pizza night with my kids making the dough has become something I actually wouldn't trade for those old weekend trips. Sounds cheesy but it's true.

SSteve C.Regular11h ago

Man, this hits home. Two kids here and I remember thinking the same thing. What changed for me was accepting that spontaneity looks different now, but those crockpot meals and family time filled the gap real quick.

AAlexNew Dad11h ago

Every other week I get that freedom back and honestly it made me appreciate the time with my daughter even more. The schedule sucks sometimes but it's helped me see what actually matters.

SScottNew Dad8h ago

Yeah nothing really prepares you for it. You think you know what's coming and then you hold that baby and realize everything you thought you valued gets reordered pretty quick. The freedom thing gets better once they're a bit older though.

FFredNew Dad4h ago

I would say that maybe you can realize that you still have freedom in smaller amounts but that the more important thing you gained is purpose. Raising some decent little people is going to be so much more rewarding than doing stuff on a whim. But there's still fun stuff to do and now you have "partners in crime".

MMatt B.Regularjust now

I get this. With two kids my free time basically vanished for a few years there. But somewhere around year three or four you start getting little pockets of time back and it feels amazing. Plus seeing them become people makes up for a lot.

JJayson H.New Dadjust now

The loss of freedom thing hits different. I remember when my son was born thinking I'd never have a Saturday to myself again. But man, watching him grow up has made it worth it in ways I couldn't have understood before.