Became a stay at home dad and lost my entire identity for a while

Mar 31 min read

Wife made significantly more than me so when our first was born it just made financial sense. I was terrified about it. Who was I if I wasn't the provider? Spent the first 6 months feeling like I was failing at everything. But then something shifted. I stopped measuring myself by the paycheck and started measuring myself by whether my kids were happy, whether I was present, whether I was taking care of the house. Three kids later and I'm not going back to corporate life. Gained way more than I lost even though I didn't realize it at first. The shame and judgment from other people was the hardest part honestly.

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Comments(3)

JJames H.RegularMar 3

The identity crisis is real but it gets better. Your kid won't remember if you were the one bringing in the paycheck, just that you were there. That's worth more than any title.

HHector R.RegularMar 3

That financial sense decision was the right call but man, I get it. I went through something similar and had to figure out who I was beyond the paycheck. Sounds like you're finding your way back to yourself now.

FFred V.RegularMar 3

Stay at home dad life hits different. Arts and crafts with my daughter has actually become my favorite part of the day, even if I'm covered in glue 24/7. You'll find new ways to be the provider.