Divorced Guy Trying to Find Himself Again at 42

Apr 141 min read

Got divorced last year after being married for 15 years. Spent almost two decades as a married guy with a kid and then suddenly I'm living alone in an apartment and having every other weekend free. Some days it feels like I got my life back. Some days it feels like I lost everything. I'm relearning who I am without my wife and without being 'the married guy'. Started doing things I hadn't done in forever - joined a softball league, go to concerts, can just exist without someone else's schedule mattering. But honestly most nights I'm just lonely as hell and overthinking everything. My daughter is handling it okay which is what matters most. I guess I'm supposed to be excited about this new chapter but mostly I'm just confused about who I'm supposed to be now.

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Comments(3)

BBrandonRegularApr 15

Dude, this is your chance to be intentional about who you want to be. Not who marriage made you, not who your ex needed you to be. Just you. That's actually pretty cool when you think about it.

BBrandon H.RegularApr 14

That's a big step, man. 15 years is a long time to build an identity around being married. The good news? 42 is still young enough to figure out who you are outside of that. Have you thought about what you actually want to do now, or are you still in the fog?

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DDerekNew DadApr 15

Going through something similar after my divorce. It's weird rediscovering yourself as a solo person again. What helped me was getting back into stuff I loved before marriage. Don't rush it though, the fog clears eventually.