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Does anyone ever feel completely lost in their own identity?

Dec 251 min read

I'm not complaining about being a dad because I love my kids more than anything but sometimes I catch myself and realize I can't remember the last time I did something just for me. Used to play in a band, did gigs every other weekend, had this whole thing going. Now I'm the dad who knows every word to Bluey and can change a diaper in the dark. I looked in the mirror yesterday and didn't recognize myself for a second. Like not physically but just... who am I outside of being dad/husband/employee? Did anyone else go through this and figure it out? How do you find yourself again while still being fully present for your kids?

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5 comments126 views

Comments(5)

NNoah B.RegularDec 25

I feel this in my bones. Sometimes I'm making lunch and I realize I have no idea what I actually want to eat anymore, only what the kids will tolerate.

JJames H.RegularDec 25

What were you catching yourself doing? Sometimes it helps to talk about the specific moments when you feel the most lost.

BBob M.RegularDec 26

Loving your kids more than anything doesn't mean you have to disappear completely. You're allowed to exist as yourself too.

CCarl D.RegularDec 27

The catching yourself thing is so important though. At least you're aware of it. That's the first step to finding yourself again, even if it's just in small chunks.

HHugh S.RegularDec 28

You're not losing your identity, you're just in the deep part of the parenting cycle. It comes back when they get older and need you less. Doesn't feel like it now but it does.