From Solo Traveler to Dad of Three - Identity Crisis Real

Aug 91 min read

Five years ago I was that guy doing motorcycle trips across Southeast Asia, sleeping in hostels, working remotely from coffee shops. Now I'm the guy arguing with my 6 year old about why he can't have cereal for dinner. Honestly some days I miss the freedom and the person I was. But then my 3 year old calls me 'the best dad ever' because I built a blanket fort and suddenly I wouldn't trade it. It's weird having this dual identity where I look at old photos and feel nostalgic for a version of myself that no longer exists. Anyone else struggle with this or am I just being melodramatic?

10 comments177 views

Comments(10)

GGarrett M.New DadAug 10

Five years in and you're wondering if you should've stayed on the road but real talk, you're probably living something way more fulfilling now even if it looks smaller. The adventure just looks different.

JJasonRegularAug 10

Five years is not that long to completely overhaul your identity. Have you found ways to keep a little of that adventurous spirit alive for your kids? My boys love hearing the old stories.

DDannyRegularAug 9

The motorcycle trips will still be there someday, but these years with three kids go fast. I'm learning to find adventure in different ways now, and honestly it's pretty fulfilling.

MMatt B.New DadAug 9

I went through something similar coming into co-parenting three kids. You don't lose that adventurous part of yourself, it just gets redirected. My kids are my adventure now.

JJarodRegularAug 9

Real talk, the identity shift is real and it's okay to grieve that solo life a little while also being all in with three. You're not the same guy, but you're becoming someone even better.

CCarlosRegularAug 9

This is such a wild shift. Going from motorcycle trips to snack schedules and car seats. But honestly the adventure just looks different now, right? Three kids means three times the chaos and stories.

GGarrett M.New DadAug 9

The identity crisis is real but you traded sleeping in hostels for something way better. Board game nights hit different when you've got your whole crew at the table.

JJoeRegularAug 9

You don't lose the solo traveler part of you, you just get to see the world through your kids' eyes now which is actually wild. Southeast Asia is amazing but watching your daughter discover the beach hits different.

RRick M.RegularAug 9

That's a real identity shift though. I went from solo travel to three kids and honestly? The road trips now are different but they might be better. My kids are amazing travel buddies once you figure out the logistics.

SSteveRegularAug 10

I get the identity crisis. You had this whole thing figured out and then kids blow it up. But you get to build something new. Your kids are probably going to be better travelers because of who you were before.