Before kids I was known as the guy who coached soccer, went on camping trips, had a tight friend group. Now I'm just "dad". Every conversation revolves around the kids. I can't remember the last time someone asked me what I wanted or what I was thinking about besides parenting stuff. I love my boys but I feel like I disappeared. Does it get better or is this just my life now?
Yeah man this is the hardest part nobody warns you about. You're not losing your identity though, you're expanding it. I know that sounds like corporate speak but after like 5 years you start getting pockets of time back and you realize you're still you plus more.
This phase is brutal I'm not going to lie. New parent here so I'm just entering it but I already see my old life shrinking. Trying to remember that this intense phase won't last forever though.
I feel this so hard. I used to have hobbies and time with friends and now it's all soccer schedules and bedtime routines. The identity shift is real but here's the thing - it does come back eventually. Not the same, but different. Hang in there.
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The coaching and camping trips don't have to be gone forever. My plan is to eventually bring my kids into those things instead of giving them up. Right now I can't do solo trips but in a few years maybe we coach together or go camping as a family.