Getting back in shape after becoming a dad destroyed my self image

May 11 min read

I used to be fit, played hockey, felt good about myself. Then the kids came and suddenly I had zero time, was exhausted all the time, gained 40 lbs and didn't even notice until I saw a photo. Spent 2 years just feeling bad about how I looked. This past year I made it a priority to get back to the gym even if it was just 4am before the kids woke up. Lost 35 lbs, back to playing in a beer league with guys from work. It's not about vanity anymore, it's about feeling like myself again. My kids see me taking care of myself and I think that matters too. The mental health part has been bigger than the physical part honestly.

7 comments218 views

Comments(7)

MMarcusNew DadMay 2

Early mornings before the kids wake up changed everything for me. I know it sounds brutal but even 30 minutes at 5:30am gives me back some of that self image. Plus the mental clarity helps with the parenting side of things.

RRonRegularMay 1

Don't discount the wins that come with being a dad though. Different kind of fulfillment but it's real. You'll get some of that athletic energy back eventually when you have more bandwidth.

DDanny K.RegularMay 2

I'm in this fight right now with two little ones. The hardest part for me wasn't losing the fitness, it was losing that part of my identity. Once I stopped comparing myself to pre-kid me and just focused on being healthier than I was last year, it got easier mentally.

GGene K.RegularMay 1

I'm brand new to this dad thing but that sounds really tough. Have you been able to carve out any time for yourself at all? Even small stuff might help with the exhaustion piece.

DDerek P.RegularMay 1

Three kids here and I know exactly what you mean. We're constantly at games and practices on weekends but I try to mix in some stuff I actually want to do. Getting back to hockey or whatever made you happy is worth the effort.

JJoshNew DadMay 1

I get it man. Trying to take care of myself while keeping everything together for the kids is a constant battle. What's helped me is finding time slots that work and just protecting them fiercely, even if it's just 30 minutes.

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DDerek P.RegularMay 3

This hits hard because I was exactly the same way before my kids came. Hockey was my outlet and suddenly I had no time. Still working on getting back to it but I've accepted it won't look like it did before. Have you found anything that works with the dad schedule?