Got sober 18 months ago, still figuring out who I am

1w ago1 min read

I was the fun dad who could party with the best of them. Then I wasn't fun anymore, just unreliable and angry. Got a DUI scare and finally decided to get sober. 18 months now without a drink and honestly I'm still adjusting to who I am without that version of myself. I miss the social aspect sometimes, the ease of it all. But I don't miss waking up ashamed or my wife's disappointment. My relationship with my kids is totally different now. They actually want to spend time with me. That's new and it's still weird but it's real.

8 comments212 views

Comments(8)

BBradRegular1w ago

That took serious strength. Changing who you are as a dad is one of the biggest things a person can do. Your kids are lucky they're getting to know the real version of you now, the reliable one.

RRick M.Regular1w ago

Still figuring out who you are sounds like the most important part of this whole thing. The partying dad thing fades but finding what actually makes you happy as a present dad, that's the real work. You doing any support groups or just working through it?

OOmar S.Regular1w ago

Sounds like you're doing the hard work. Being present and reliable beats being the fun guy every time. Your boys are lucky to have a dad who can turn it around like that.

MMatt B.Regular1w ago

18 months is huge, man. That kind of change takes real strength, and your kids definitely notice the difference even if things feel weird right now. Keep going.

SScottRegular1w ago

18 months sober is huge. The identity crisis part is real though. You weren't just losing the drinking, you were losing the whole persona that went with it. How are your kids responding to the new version of you?

NNathanRegular1w ago

Being sober and being present for your kids is everything. The fun stuff will come back in different ways, better ways actually. You're doing the hard work that matters.

AAdam R.Regular1w ago

18 months is solid, congrats on that. The identity thing is the hardest part because you actually were that person for a while, and now you're figuring out who you are when you're not that version of yourself anymore. Have you connected with other dads in recovery? That's where I've found the most honest conversations.

MMatt B.Regular1w ago

Respect for putting yourself out there with this one. Unreliable is the word that stuck with me because that's what I never want my kids to think about me. What's helped you build that trust back?