Got sober 2 years ago and trying to figure out who I am now

Apr 211 min read

Haven't had a drink in 730 days. For real. Used to be the guy everyone wanted to party with, and now half my old friends don't call anymore. That identity is just gone. What I gained though is actually being present for my family instead of half there. My kids remember things I do now instead of me being checked out. But man, some nights I feel lost without that crutch. Starting to realize I never figured out who I was sober. Working through it in therapy and trying new hobbies but it's slower than I thought.

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Comments(8)

MMikeRegular3w ago

Two years sober is huge. The identity thing is the hardest part because you have to build a new version of yourself from scratch. Have you found new hobbies or activities that give you that same rush?

LLucas M.Regular3w ago

Two years is huge. Seriously huge. The identity crisis part is real because so much of your social structure was built around that lifestyle. But finding out who you actually are under all that is worth the weirdness.

PPedroRegularApr 22

Your kids are going to remember this period as the time their dad became their real dad. That's worth more than any party ever was. Keep going.

MMitchell R.RegularApr 22

The hardest part is probably dealing with old friends who still want that version of you. It's tough to walk a different path but you're doing it for the right reasons.

DDerekRegular3w ago

This is a journey I don't have personal experience with but I know it matters. Your kids are watching you figure this out and that's actually a powerful example. Who cares what old friends think.

BBrandonNew Dad3w ago

Congrats on 730 days. That's real. The party guy version of you isn't gone, he's just evolving. New hobbies, new friends, new version of fun. It takes time but it gets so much better.

AAlexRegularApr 22

730 days is incredible. That's real. I can't imagine the clarity you must be feeling now compared to before, especially with your kids watching you figure out who you are.

AAlexRegularApr 22

Have you thought about working with a therapist on the identity piece? That's less about sobriety and more about rediscovering yourself without alcohol being the centerpiece. Worth exploring.