Has anyone actually found a balance between being a dad and having your own life? | DadHQ

Has anyone actually found a balance between being a dad and having your own life?

Dec 141 min read

Real talk, I'm struggling here. My buddies want me to join their volleyball league again and I said yes thinking it would be fine but now I'm looking at the schedule and my daughter has soccer practice 2 of those nights and I just... how do you guys do this? I want to be present with my kids but I also want to feel like myself sometimes. What does that even look like? Am I just supposed to give up team sports for like 18 years?

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Comments(6)

DDanny G.RegularDec 14

The fact that you're struggling with this means you care. Lots of dads just check out completely. Maybe the answer is finding a balance that works for YOUR family specifically instead of what everyone says you should do.

DDerek P.RegularDec 15

This is such a real struggle. I think the balance comes from accepting that some weeks will be dad-heavy and other weeks you get more you time. It's not about splitting it 50/50 every single day.

PPatrick W.RegularDec 16

What does your wife think about you getting back into volleyball? I found out that when my spouse was on board with my hobbies my whole mental health improved and I was actually more present as a dad.

BByron S.RegularDec 15

Start small maybe? Do the volleyball league but just once a week. You can always add more if it's working. I realized I needed my own thing and once I did the resentment I didn't even know I had just melted away.

TTom R.RegularDec 16

Join the volleyball league. Seriously. Your kids need to see you taking care of yourself and having your own interests. You're not a better dad if you burn out completely.

PPaul W.RegularDec 17

Your buddies are right to keep asking. Isolation is the real trap here, not playing volleyball once a week. You need adult time to be the best version of yourself for your family.