I miss the old me sometimes even though new me is better

3d ago1 min read

Before kids I was spontaneous, had money, could sleep till noon on weekends, went out whenever I wanted. Now I'm a planner and a worrier. My identity went from being a person to being defined by being a dad. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change it. My kids are amazing. But there are days I feel a little ghost of that freedom and I wonder who I would have become if I didn't have them. Weird thing to admit but I think about it.

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Comments(8)

RRob H.Regular1d ago

Sleep till noon though. I dream about that still. But then my kids wake up excited and want to show me something and I realize I wouldn't trade this for anything.

AAndrew T.New Dad2d ago

The old you was having fun but the new you is building something that actually matters. Missing it doesn't mean you made the wrong choice.

BBlake T.New Dad2d ago

The money thing stings sometimes. I could buy whatever I wanted back then. Now I'm excited about sales on diapers. Not gonna lie though, this version of me is more solid.

DDaniel P.New Dad3d ago

Yeah but you can still be spontaneous, just looks different now. I surprise my kids with stuff way more than I ever surprised myself before. That hit different.

MMarcusNew Dad3d ago

I get this so much. Sometimes I catch myself at 11pm on a weeknight wishing I could just go out for a beer without planning three weeks in advance. But then my son does something funny and I'm like yeah, this is the tradeoff. New me is exhausted but also more present.

MMarcus T.New Dad3d ago

You're naming something a lot of dads feel but don't want to say. Missing the old version of yourself doesn't mean you regret your kids. It just means you're human and change is hard. New you sounds pretty solid though.

KKevinNew Dad2d ago

The sleep till noon thing hits me different now. My kids are up at 6am no matter what day it is. But honestly? Pancake Sundays with them make up for it. Not the same freedom but it's better in a weird way.

EEricRegular1d ago

This is real and I'm glad you said it out loud. Three kids and some days I think about who I was before all this. The spontaneity is gone but so is the emptiness if that makes sense. Different version of living.