Identity crisis after becoming a stay at home dad

Mar 51 min read

I was the guy who defined himself by his career. CFO, long hours, lots of prestige. Then my wife got a job offer we couldn't refuse and we decided I'd stay home with the kids. First 6 months were rough. I felt lost and honestly a little ashamed when people asked what I do. But then something clicked. I realized I wasn't less than anything. Now I'm present for my kids in ways I never would've been otherwise. Turns out being a good dad is way more fulfilling than making six figures. Never thought I'd say that.

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Comments(7)

VVictor R.New DadMar 7

Man, this hits different. I went through something similar when I took the pay cut to be home more with my three. Sounds like you're grieving the old identity while building a new one. That's actually really healthy even though it doesn't feel like it right now.

RRyanNew DadMar 7

The prestige thing is tough because people don't really celebrate stay at home dads the same way. But honestly the work you're doing now might be harder than anything you did as a CFO. Give yourself credit for that.

DDannyRegularMar 6

Have you thought about what parts of your old identity you actually want to keep? Not everything has to go away. Some of my best moments are mixing my old hobbies with dad life.

RRobertRegularMar 6

Welcome to the real identity crisis. Sounds like you figured something out that a lot of us never will. You might feel less important but I bet your kids think you're the most important person in their world. That's worth more than a CFO title any day.

SSteve K.New DadMar 7

I had to go this route too when my first was born and honestly the hardest part wasn't the job loss, it was rebuilding my confidence that I wasn't failing at something. You're not failing. You're doing the one thing that actually matters.

JJason T.RegularMar 6

The CFO to stay at home dad transition has to be wild. How long did it take you to stop checking your work email obsessively? That's the part I think would kill me most, like the silence of not being needed for decisions anymore.

MMike R.RegularMar 6

This is heavy stuff man. I get it though. I spent years thinking my job title made me worth something and then when I stepped back it was like who am I without that? Turns out I'm way more than a paycheck. The stay at home thing is legit work, it's just nobody pays you in money.