Identity crisis after becoming a stay at home dad

5d ago1 min read

I quit my job 8 months ago when childcare costs were eating up my whole salary anyway. Been doing the SAHD thing since my daughter was born. The weird part is I don't really know who I am anymore outside of being a dad. Used to define myself by my work, my accomplishments, going to bars with coworkers. Now my days are diapers, meal prep, and preschool pickup. I'm not sad about it exactly, but some days I feel like I lost myself. Anyone else go through this transition? Does it get easier to accept?

5 comments168 views

Comments(5)

MMike R.Regular3d ago

8 months in and you're still figuring it out, which is totally normal. I've been doing this juggling act with work and kids for years and I still have days where I question everything. The stay at home route takes guts though, respect.

VVince R.Regular5d ago

Sounds like you're figuring out what matters. The SAHD life is tough on the identity piece but the time with your daughter is something you can't get back.

TTom M.Regular5d ago

Man, this hits home. I went from being the breadwinner to being the one changing diapers full time and honestly? Some days I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. The financial part made sense but nobody talks about the identity stuff. How are you handling it mentally?

KKyleRegular5d ago

That identity thing is real, man. Eight months in with two boys under five and I'm still wrapping my head around it. You're doing something huge by being there for your daughter though.

JJasonRegular4d ago

The childcare math is insane. Glad you did what made sense financially but I imagine that's a massive life shift. Are you thinking you'll go back to work eventually or are you settling into the dad life full time now?